


Two Martinis, Barkeep

by hilariouslygrounded



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Minor "Trapper" John McIntyre/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Post-Canon, Unrequited Love, mutual pining for what could have been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilariouslygrounded/pseuds/hilariouslygrounded
Summary: Hawkeye meets an old friend while out with BJ on his birthday
Relationships: B. J. Hunnicutt/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Two Martinis, Barkeep

**Author's Note:**

> This will make a bit more sense if you've read Call Me Margaret, but the context isn't strictly necessary

“A bar? That’s your idea of a birthday surprise?” Hawkeye was incredulous. BJ’d been hyping his surprise up for days, and even though Hawkeye wasn’t a huge fan of surprises he felt rather disappointed. He’d worn his Hawaiian shirt for this. 

BJ pouted. “It’s not your average bar. C’mon.” 

Hawkeye made an ‘after you’ gesture and followed BJ into the bar. It was immediately pretty obvious that BJ was right, the bar certainly wasn’t of the run-of-the-mill variety. For one thing, it was a pretty shabby joint that could use a coat of paint. For another, the clientele certainly weren’t ‘normal’. He and BJ fit right in. 

He grinned as BJ led him through the crowd. All around him, men danced with men and women danced together too. Drag queens who could’ve taught Klinger a thing or two floated past. Maybe this would be a good birthday surprise after all. 

They bought and consumed a drink or two each, then BJ dragged him out onto the dance floor. Like in their tiny living room, Hawkeye let BJ lead. His head spun a little as they twirled to the music. 

“How did you find this place?” he asked over the music. 

“Stumbled upon it by accident about a month after I got home from Korea,” BJ admitted. “I only came the once, so I’m pleasantly surprised it's still here.” 

Hawkeye laughed. “You brought me here without knowing if the place was open? How gallant!” 

A few songs, and a couple drinks, later, BJ announced he had to visit the gents. Hawkeye decided to visit the bar to keep himself occupied while he waited. 

The only empty seat was next to a man with dirty blond curls and a yellow Hawaiian shirt. Hawkeye took it, wondering why the guy looked so familiar. He hadn’t drank this much at once since Korea, so his faculties weren’t exactly unimpaired. The man turned to him and smiled, his eyes lighting up in recognition. 

“Buy ya a drink, sailor?” he asked in a Massachusetts accent that had the nerve to make Hawkeye just a little bit homesick for New England. 

Hawkeye nodded, certain he knew him but uncertain how. 

“Two martinis, barkeep.” 

Martinis, that rang a bell. 

“You don’t recognize me, do ya Hawk?” the man frowned over his drink. Something about the expression jolted Hawkeye’s foggy brain into gear. 

“Trapper? What’re you doing at a gay bar in San Francisco?” 

“I could ask you the same thing. Aren’t you supposed to be in Maine?” 

“I live here now.” 

“Let’s dance and you can tell me all about it.” 

Trapper grabbed his wrist and guided him to a quiet corner of the dance floor. Hawkeye was too stunned to protest. 

“Did Radar give you my message?” 

Hawkeye could smell the gin on Trapper’s breath when he pulled him close.

“What? Oh. Yeah, he did.” Hawkeye recalled Radar giving him an embarrassed kiss on the cheek by way of conveying Trapper’s goodbye when he was sent home unexpectedly. “Why didn’t you leave a note?” 

“I couldn’t write down anything worth saying. And I couldn’t be sure you shared my feelings. All those nurses, I thought you might be straight.” 

“I thought _you_ were straight. I was in love with you, but I couldn’t say anything.” 

Hawkeye wasn’t quite sure why he was telling Trapper this. It’d been three years since they’d seen each other. They were strangers now. 

“Oh, Hawk. I wish you had.”

“It wouldn’t’ve made any difference. You still would’ve been sent home.” 

“Wrong again,” Trapper frowned. “It would’ve made all the difference.” 

Hawkeye’s head was spinning, and it wasn’t just from letting Trapper dip him. This must be a dream. There was no way that Trapper John Mcyntire, his friend who was sent home from war and left Hawkeye alone in Korea, was here acting out Hawkeye’s wildest fantasies. 

Guilt bubbled to the surface. Wasn't he here with BJ? But it didn't last long. This was a dream. And if it was a dream, there was no reason to feel guilty. It wasn't like he was actually doing anything but sleeping, right?

A slow song came on, and Trapper pulled him even closer as they swayed to the music. Hawkeye closed his eyes for a moment. He tried to pretend they were in the officer’s club back at the 4077th. 

“I’m sorry for leaving the way I did,” Trapper said in his ear. 

“It’s not your fault. That’s how it works in the army. One second you’re here, the next you’re halfway across the world. Besides, Radar said you tried to reach me and struck out.”

“Let me make it up to you.”

Trapper kissed him with no further preamble. It was nice, to be sure, but he wished he’d had some choice in the matter. Is this how the nurses had felt?

"I’m sorry," Hawkeye said, pulling away with a huge force of effort. "I can't." 

"Why not?" Trapper groaned, trying to close the gap he'd made between them. 

"I'm here with someone." 

"So ditch him. I'm a much better date." 

"Trap, I'm serious. BJ's not just a date. He and I, we're _together_ -together. In love. Raising a kid. Well, when she's not at her mom's." 

"I never took you to be the domestic type, Hawkeye Pierce." 

"Neither did I, til Beej waltzed into the swamp and took over the hole you left." 

"It's a good look on you," Trapper said appraisingly. "Even if you are fucking my replacement." 

Against his better judgement, Hawkeye took Trapper with him to look for BJ. They found him standing at the bar looking worried. 

Hawkeye kissed him hello. "Sorry for disappearing on you." 

"I was beginning to think you threw me over for one of those queens." 

"Never," Hawkeye promised, to himself as much as BJ. "You're the only man for me." 

"Is that so?" BJ caught him in a searing kiss, like he was marking his territory. Despite the drunken haze, Hawkeye wondered if BJ suspected anything. 

Trapper coughed pointedly. 

"And who's this?" 

"Dr. BJ Hunnicutt, may I introduce Dr. Trapper John Mcintyre?" 

" _The_ Trapper? From Korea?" 

"The very same." Trapper stuck out his hand and they shook. Hawkeye had to stop himself from cracking a joke about the absurdity of the situation. 

"I've heard a lot about you." 

Trapper shot a look at Hawkeye. "All bad I hope. You're a lucky man, BJ." 

"Am I?" 

Hawkeye knew he was in for a fun conversation when they got home. 

"Hawkeye clearly loves you very much. I'll leave you two lovebirds to your night out." 

He started to walk away but Hawkeye stopped him impulsively. He wasn't going to let the man disappear again.

"Trap, wait. Here's our address. Come by sometime so we can catch up properly. You can meet our daughter." 

"Sounds lovely. See ya round, Hawk." 

"See ya, Trap." 

With that, Trapper was gone. Hawkeye hoped he wasn't too hurt by the rejection. In another time, another place, Hawkeye might've given him everything he wanted. But he and BJ were happy, and he didn't want to do anything to ruin that. 

"C'mon Beej. Let's go home. I'm far too drunk to be in public right now." 

"Alright birthday boy.” 

They stumbled out onto the street, where BJ hailed a cab to take them home. Not driving had been a sensible idea, as it turned out. Once they were safely inside their locked apartment, though, BJ turned to him. 

“So, Trapper?” 

“What about him?”

“You two seemed pretty friendly for people who haven’t seen each other in years.” 

Hawkeye willed his brain to hold it together for a little longer. “You know we haven’t. It was a complete surprise, running into him. So we caught up for a bit, and then I came to find you. Honest.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Beej,” Hawkeye said. “We danced and talked, that’s it. He tried to kiss me and I turned him down. Notice how it’s you I came home with. Besides, I told you before he and I never did anything during the war.” 

He was babbling now, but he needed BJ to understand. BJ’s face remained stony for a second, but then it softened. 

“I believe you, Hawk.” 

“You do?” 

“Sure,” BJ shrugged. “I trust you. You say nothing happened between you and him, so nothing happened.” 

“You big lug,” Hawkeye grinned, reaching up to kiss him.


End file.
